It was just the two of them for more than 20 years in a San Diego rental home – "two peas in a pod," as Miyu Oda-Deshotels describes herself and her mom, Atsumi Oda.
They earned the same bachelor’s degree (psychology) at the same college (San Diego State) and then together enrolled in the same graduate program (public administration/government and policy) at the same college (Grand Canyon University) before walking the stage the same day (May 2) at spring commencement.
Just in time for Mother's Day.
Miyu, 23, calls her mom a “superhero in my life.”
Atsumi immigrated to the U.S. from Japan but two years later found herself divorced with a baby girl to raise and no way to return to her family in Japan because of shared custody decrees, she said.
Atsumi went to church – “it helped us overcome” – and became determined that her own sorrows wouldn’t stop her from lessening those of others. She worked in a group home for children in foster care.
“I believe it was a mission statement from God that I become a social worker and help others,” she said.
Such was her impact that foster children she took care of still stay in touch with her years later.
“My mom created such a great life,” Miyu said. “We were not financially solid, so she had to work hard, and we did go through government assistance for housing opportunities. She was a single mother who wasn’t a citizen until last year, so it was hard to find stability. I saw her struggle.
“But one thing that differentiated her from everyone else. She knew everything about every program.”
Miyu asked her how.
“I researched,” she told her daughter, “and talked to everyone.”
A seed was planted for her daughter’s future.
“From a young age it was instilled in me that we did everything together. Everyone in my life knows who my mom is. She is such a superhero in my life. I run everything by her, ‘Does this sound smart?’ I do the same thing for her. We are each other’s backbone,” Miyu said.
After school practices for dance or cheerleading, she would go to night classes with her mom and dreamed of her own college life: “In the back of my mind I thought it would be cool if we graduated together.”
Miyu eventually attended San Diego State and landed a job connecting people to resources, just like her mom, but as a constituent affairs director for San Diego County supervisor Joel Anderson. “I knew if I could connect people to good government, that would be like a dream. I feel like that dream has come true,” she said.
And when she returned to graduate school at GCU, she fulfilled another dream, talking her mom into joining her.
“She works with children. Policy would be a good add-on to make a difference,” Miyu said. “Policy is a superpower to changing the world in the quickest possible way.”
Atsumi took her daughter’s advice. Why not try to be a policy analyst after years of working on the front lines?
“I really liked the mission statement of GCU – yes, God is good. God really helped us overcome – it was not easy with cultural differences and me and my daughter on our own,” she said.
Professors talked of integrity and community and faith. And policy that could help her.
“Foster youth will go from group home to group home,” Atsumi said. “… In San Diego, foster youth homelessness is an issue. As a policy analyst, I can change the community with stakeholders.”
They studied together in coffee shops – even after the unthinkable happened. Miyu decided to get her own place.
“It was very hard but, you know, life goes on,” Atsumi said. “Hopefully, we can buy a home together someday.”
Miyu brainstormed in her GCU courses about ways to solve senior housing issues in San Diego, her coursework eventually becoming a policy draft that she says may be implemented – a way for elders to share housing.
But she missed her mom – for a tick.
“Once I left, I talked to her every day. I see her more than when I lived with her. It seems like I can’t live without her. I’m like, ‘You wanna get dinner?’ I think you realize that once you move out, ‘Oh, I actually need my parents.’”
Finally, last week all those times together culminated in wearing the same graduation gowns and caps with blue tassels.
“We have a very strong bond; we’ve been through a lot together, good and bad times,” Atsumi said. “It meant a lot to me to go through our higher education together.”
On this Mother’s Day, imagine hearing this from your daughter:
“She has this light under her,” Miyu said. “One thing about my mom that makes her so influential in my life is how kind and heartwarming she is and how much fire she has under her to help others.
“It’s almost like she is built for the universe and helps people get through the most challenging moments of their life. If I can help one person in the way she has helped so many others – it’s where I get my energy.”
Grand Canyon University senior writer Mike Kilen can be reached at mike.kilen@gcu.edu
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