By Nate Bowman
GCU Office of Student Care
#Askingforafriend
Relationships are a cornerstone of daily life. Consider the relationships in which you’re involved every single day: work, dating/marriage, friends, parenting, classmates …
The list goes on and on.
In general, how would you sum up your thoughts about relationships? Read the following responses and allow yourself to notice which most resonates with you. (Hint: It might be more than one.)
- “I often experience mutual understanding in relationships, and I can trust myself and others.”
- “I don’t really need anyone or anything. I can take care of myself.”
- “I absolutely need others because I can’t do any of this by myself.”
- “I can’t need anyone or trust myself.”
The most helpful relationship advice I can offer you largely will depend on which of the above statements most accurately describe(s) your thought processes about relationships.
Let’s take a look at the second response: “I don’t really need anyone or anything. I can take care of myself.”
If this is you and you are experiencing relational distress, consider getting curious about how you feel throughout the day. You might find that sharing how you feel with safe and trusted others, though vulnerable and sometimes scary, leads to deeper connection and understanding.
Now, suppose I offered that same advice to those of you who are experiencing relational distress and resonated with the third response: “I absolutely need others because I can’t do any of this by myself.”
In a lot of cases, knowing and sharing how you feel comes easily, so the above advice is less helpful. Rather, I would encourage you to consider healthy means of self-care that allow you to interact with your capacity to self-soothe.
Relationships are chock full of potential. Because you only have control over how you are and not how others are, it’s important to consider your thoughts about relationships. Slow down, get curious and reflect. It’s well worth the time and energy.
