Photos by Ralph Freso
Dr. Matthew Nolen remembered reading John Eldredge’s best-seller “Wild at Heart” as a college student.
“It’s that first time in college when you think, ‘Oh yeah, I have thoughts and they have an effect on me,’” said Nolen with a chuckle.
But it was the Christian author’s more recent work, “Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times,” that lured Nolen, the Grand Canyon University Communications Department chair, and adjunct faculty Milissa Hutloff to invite Eldredge to speak Thursday to a live and online audience in a virtual presentation.
“The timing is good after the election and before finals to highlight spiritual practices and how they can practice resilience,” Nolen said.
In a lecture titled "Christian Resilience," Eldredge gave four tools to help students – and faculty and staff – through the day.
Practice benevolent detachment. We may think that to be dialed into the world is about worrying about every wildfire, every displaced refugee, every family member in trouble or a newly elected public official and what catastrophe they might bring. But Eldredge says it’s vital to learn to let all that go.
“‘Benevolent’ because it’s done in love – it’s not cynicism, anger, not checked out, ‘I don’t care about you’ – it’s something done in love. Detachment means to let people go, and projects, people, communities, politics – learning to let it go,” he said.
It’s arrogant to think you can solve all those problems, he said. Only God can. Listen, do what you can, but then let Him carry the load after that. At night, pause, take some deep breaths and give those needy people, those problems, over to Jesus.
“If you settle into benevolent detachment, your body will respond and you will move into a more relaxed, joyful state of being,” said Eldredge, speaking from his home office in Colorado Springs, Colorado. “That practice will save your life. Your soul was never designed to carry the world.”
Recognize the story you are telling yourself and renounce it. Eldredge said that often our internal narrative is negative: Why don’t people like me? Why does no one understand me? I’m on my own. I’m not a good person. If candidate X is elected, we’re headed for an apocalypse.
“We get into rhythms that have no recovery because we are in agreement with those narratives,” he said. “The practice is to renounce them.”
Depending on where you landed ideologically in the U.S. election, there were apocalyptic narratives some people are telling, he continued. “If you come into agreement with that, your future can look horrible. But God says, no, no, no, I have a hope for you and goodness for your life.
“Ask God to reveal the agreements, the narratives and stories we are telling ourselves,” he said, then continued with a prayer. “Oh Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, will you reveal to me a few of the agreements that I have been making I am not aware of, show me the story I am telling myself.”
Then break them.
“I renounce the agreements I have been making. I break the agreement that people don’t like me. I break the agreement that my future is not good.
“Jesus you are the great recaster of the narrative. You are awesome at reframing the narrative. Would You reform the story for me?”
Touch real things, look for beauty. No, your phone is not a real thing. Studies show that depression and anxiety are correlated with the amount of time spent on social media, he said.
“All of us spend most of our life in a digital world. It is not good for the soul. I’m not unaware of the irony that I am coming to you on Zoom right now. But 90% of human conversation is nonverbal. We have to make up for that. It’s exhausting. The remedy is reality. Your body, soul and spirit were made for Eden, to inhabit a natural world.
“You can do this every day; you walk out of class, you go out and touch and smell real things. Whatever the weather is I go out and stand in it … I have a heart-shaped rock I pick up. Engage the world, pull your psyche and soul out of the digital and into the world.
“Beauty heals the soul. Beauty heals trauma.”
When he lost a close friend and was in grief, he remembered the phrase he heard from a client once and began to repeat it, taking 20-minute walks in the woods that eased his pain:
“Only beauty helps.”
Build sacred rhythms into your life and put your soul in union with God. Eldredge lives in a place where monastery bells ring several times a day, a call to prayer that is a reminder of God’s sacred rhythms in life. Day, night. Planting, harvest. The world is filled with sacred rhythms of life.
“Think about the rhythms of your day. Is it sustainable? There are times we have to sprint to get things done. But that’s not sustainable. Recovery is as important as exertion.
“I recommend the first thing you do in the morning is not pick up your phone. Instead, create a bit of humanity. You walk outside, look at the world. You say your prayers. Then you can pick up your phone.”
To conclude, Eldredge said, “The soul is made to be in union with God.”
Put your hands together. This is intimacy with God – prayers, study, Scripture reading. Now intertwine your fingers. This is the soul in union with God, he said. This is the goal.
“All these other practices have this one goal in mind. It is to repair your union with God every day.”
Grand Canyon University senior writer Mike Kilen can be reached at [email protected]
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