Internship led GCU student to be the light for others

She kept hearing young women say the same thing.

“I am so sick of being sick.”

Abigail Barstad got teary-eyed when she said it. She had dealt with her own family issues, depression, addictive exercise, and now was trying to help others.

“They realize they are sick, but they don’t know how to get well. But the cool thing is, a lot of the women found a lot of release when they actually shared out loud instead of keeping it in,” she said of her summer internship at Acute Center for Eating Disorders and Severe Malnutrition in Denver.

The internship changed the outlook of the Grand Canyon University junior studying behavioral health, especially after she met one young woman who had battled an eating disorder for more than a decade.

“She had gone to this center four times and, this summer, she was definitely giving up. Her body and brain were reflecting that,” Barstad said.

But something clicked in her one day, which Barstad knew could go the opposite way. Not only had she endured her own struggles in high school, but a friend had an eating disorder. She didn’t know how to help. The friend died in 2021.

“I felt like it opened my eyes, to see what behavior patterns look like. I think a lot of young women have an idea that their body should look a certain way, or they should be a certain size, or they should be athletic or be the strongest or the skinniest at the same time,” she said. “Going to a Christian school (in Parker, Colorado), where we heard that God made you, so you are perfect the way you are – that was always spoken but I don’t think anyone heard it.

“To see what happened to that girl made me aware of how our culture is selling eating disorders without calling it an eating disorder.”

Women’s bodies have been to ogle for far too long, she added, and social media isn’t helping. But she thought God had allowed her to go through difficulties to now be the light for others.

She enrolled at GCU in theology two years ago, sure that “God and His hope is the only thing that can reroute those thoughts, bring that hope and light. But I don’t think I was fully aware of how there are actually coping skills and education and awareness you have to know in order to help someone with mental illness.

“Of course God can do anything, but God also lets us walk through things and find that wisdom to help others with knowledge.”

Barstad decided to combine a biblical studies major with one in behavioral health science to learn more and got involved in the student volunteer organization Changing Lives Outreach. When an internship surfaced this summer, she jumped at the chance.

“Internships are an invaluable opportunity to bring our learning to fruition,” said College of Humanities and Social Sciences Dean Dr. Sherman Elliott of the more than 1,000 internships served by social work and behavioral health students over the summer. “It is the relationship with clients that makes us realize what we can do to serve other human beings so as to bring comfort to their lives.”

Barstad was the youngest person on the center’s staff, she said, and was immediately paired with young women her own age to talk about the clients’ eating disorders. She often thought back to her high school friend, how this could have helped her.

“I spent so many hours talking in depth with these women who have had lifelong struggles, or their thoughts were aiding their eating disorder,” she said. “Even though I went to high school two years ago, I was able to say, ‘Yeah, me too.” It just created a closeness so I could really fellowship with them, and they were able to trust me on a deeper level.”

The way to break through their thought processes was sharing them.

Often, they think they don’t look good and will do anything to look good, but they never get to the point of believing it. Unrealistic expectations, counting calories, throwing up food, she heard it all.

Some women wouldn’t even sit down during their sessions with Barstad. “They felt like they burned calories standing.”

“For me, I was really into weight lifting and getting super strong,” Barstad said. “But I had to go every day, then twice a day, then I had to run. What started off as something good became something that my brain was encompassed by. Once I realized how destructive that was, I took a step back, realizing I was choosing the gym over my friends, over my sleep, things I needed to survive.”

She tapped into that experience, helping the young woman who seemed to be on her last chance this summer.

“I spent two months pouring into her, almost every shift. She was a believer, and that helped me to give her Bible verses that can help – and finding different things to distract her from that voice.”

Then with the help of a staff counselor, dietitian and Barstad’s close relationship, the young woman sat down one day with a different demeanor.

“I’m ready to fight,” she told Barstad.

“Those were the exact words. Then she broke down crying and said, ‘I will never let this win again.’ Others who had seen her through the last four years had never seen her so on fire.

“I think when you build relationships,” Barstad continued, “you can just find so much freedom. She ended up leaving the center, which was really cool.

“The internship came at a great time, where I felt like I was at a point in my mental health healing process where I could help these women. I will never forget it.”

Grand Canyon University senior writer Mike Kilen can be reached at [email protected]

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