#Askingforafriend: The perils of unexpected change

By Mike Wallace
GCU Office of Student Care
#Askingforafriend

“There is nothing as constant as change,” my mother would always say. It is not what happens to us, it is our reactions, attitudes and perceptions of events that can affect our mental health the most.

Pending change is one thing, but unexpected change – the sudden death of a loved one, unexpectedly losing your job, a breakup with a significant other that comes out of left field, etc. – can leave us hurt, frustrated, confused and very disoriented.

Consider the recent events with the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak: social events canceled, churches not even congregating, schools shutting down. It can be traumatic to adjust quickly and reorient.

When we are exposed to this kind of trauma, we have different emotional responses. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance has a lot to say about this subject. Symptoms can include:

Although these symptoms may be daunting, there are many ways we can care for ourselves. These include:

When faced with the uncertainty of current events, remember to take things one day at a time and keep self-talk realistically positive. Look for opportunities to help each other out as circumstances unfold.

I have a lot of empathy for those students who have had to readjust their lives abruptly, but I also have a lot of confidence in them – their generation already has had to deal with a lot of change. They are well-informed, curious and can develop the resilience needed to overcome this temporary hiatus.

In his book “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes,” William Bridges wrote that change is necessary for growth and that it involves three stages:

May we all give each other grace, patience and encouragement along with a curiosity to take advantage of new opportunities that never could have happened without this inconvenience.